weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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