carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
