i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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