Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He shit in the fireplace
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
