We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
