I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
