I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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