Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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