If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
