Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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