dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
