Plan B is the new Plan A
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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