i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
