Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
