and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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