we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
