Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
