I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
