Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
