i barfeds in our rink
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
