do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
