Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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