you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
