We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
