So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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