So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
