I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i love accidental penises.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
dude. I can hear the air.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
