I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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