we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
