I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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