Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
