Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
