Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
