Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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