Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he was CRYING into my vagina
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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