i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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