So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
