You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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