Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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