If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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