dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
