yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
