i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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