there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
