of course. lets lasso hookers.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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