You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
