Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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