why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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