At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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