I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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