actually, I'm a sock model
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
