Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
