why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
not ubering you a puppy
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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