I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
