We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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